Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
