So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
zippers are such a cool invention
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
