just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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