i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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