Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
