Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
