Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
