Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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