So drunk its hurt
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize