you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
