Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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