its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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