Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
