Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
