Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
