Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
