Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
