No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
