Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
