anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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