what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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