Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize