so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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