The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
