I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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