Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize