Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
