Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
