There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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