my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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