he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
