I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
