Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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