Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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