I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
