Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
