Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize