I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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