My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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