Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
