First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
