i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
