i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize