i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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