i permit you to call me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
