Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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