I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
