she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
