Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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