The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
