do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was CRYING into my vagina
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
