woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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