'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
