eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize