hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize