guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Edward fifth and chaser hands
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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