Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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