I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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