my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
