Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
