she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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